Introduction:
I perform weddings like no other I have ever seen. I make the couple and
their entourage stand up the stairs
in a half moon shape with the wedding couple standing at the top in front of the
altar. That way they are always visible to the entire congregation and we are not
just looking at their butts. I perform most of the ceremony down in the congregation
with the people. The photographers love it, the couple likes it and more importantly
the people like it. I am not the center of attraction. This is the one
sacrament that the couple gives to each other and I and their family and friends merely
witness it for the Church and the world. When I first mention it to couples they
usually don't like the idea, but once they try it, they are usually thrilled. Only
once did one woman object so much she found another priest. "there's no
accounting for some people's taste!"
In the wedding ceremony itself I use Father Don
Skerry's, Format for Vows on the Crucifix. I usually paraphrase his writing,
but it all comes out about the same. Published in Medjugore magazine in the winter
of 1994-95. The couple hold a home crucifix in their hands from the beginning of the
ceremony until the end of their vows.
If they insist on the "unity candle"
thing(which I try to discourage because it is so 70-ish), then we do that right after the
blessing of the rings. It's only useful purpose, in my opinion, is to give the
couple a time to relax, take roses to their mothers and grandmothers and have a nice song
sung. Symbolically it stinks.
Homily:
Welcome to this public celebration of __________&_________. Together we watch
these two people commit their lives to each other. I place the crucifix of our Lord
in their hands as a constant reminder to them that they are not just
marrying each other, but there is a third person in their marriage--Jesus Christ.
Placed in a prominent place in their new home, our Lord's presence will ever be
with them to remind them that their love for one another will never die as long as they
keep the Lord in their lives. To Him will they bring their joys,
their sorrows, their hopes and disappointments. Together with Him
will they come together as a new family in prayer and by example. They are the
models of Jesus Christ and the Church. In their home will they be
the best examples of Christian love for one another. And now I will turn my
attention from you and face them because I have something to say(what a surprise!) I
keep it short!
The
Holy Fathers from the Vatican Council II said there are three priorities to a successful
marriage:
- (1)
That you are to love one another above and beyond anyone else in this world. You are
to put mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends and even your own children second to
that love that he have for one another. You are to be ever faithful to one another
and never forget this special time for love. Vincent Genovisi wrote in his book, In
Pursuit of Love, when two people come together to make love they are not
coming together just to enjoy this very special gift from God. You each have two
natures about you:a physical one and a spiritual one. When you join that physical
nature in love you also join that spiritual nature. When it says in Genesis and
Mathew that the two of you shall be one, those authors knew exactly what God was talking
about. Over the years have you ever noticed how your mom and dad started looking
like one another? It is no accident! In their love making they have shared the
most intimate part of who they are both physically and spiritually.
In 50 years you will look the same if you always remember that your love comes
first for each other.
Weddings